Flavored Mayonnaise Is Not Aioli

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As one could probably guess, I watch a lot of shows on Food Network.  I was watching Trisha’s Southern Kitchen when host, Trisha was making “Smoky Aioli” for over potatoes.  Her aioli was a combination of  mayonnaise, ketchup, smoked paprika, garlic salt, and hot sauce.  The only problem is, IT'S FLAVORED MAYONNAISE, NOT AIOLI!

Aioli is made from garlic and oil while mayo is made from egg yolks and oil.  Mayonnaise, by definition, contains eggs.  Aioli, by definition, contains no eggs.  This is the reason there's no such thing as “vegan mayonnaise.”  Mayonnaise contains eggs.

It's a simple distinction.  Yet, bizarrely, chefs and restaurants keep making flavored mayonnaises and calling them aioli.  Granted, most of the time there's no harm done.  If a diner is vegan or allergic to eggs, and they think they’re ordering aioli, the results can range from annoying to lethal.

Stonewall Kitchen Roasted Garlic Aioli
Photo Courtesy of Amazon's Affiliate Program.

Even products on stores' shelves are misleading. When I typed "aioli" into Amazon's search engine, Stonewall Kitchen Roasted Garlic Aioli was the first product to pop up.

Terrapin Farms Avocado Aioli
Photo Courtesy of Amazon's Affiliate Program.

Yet, the first two ingredients listed are Canola Oil and "Whole Salted Eggs." Several other aioli products appeared which either listed eggs or didn't list ingredients on their Amazon page. 

It wasn't until I typed "vegan aioli" that I found Terrapin Farms Avocado Aioli, which fit the definition of aioli. Other products fit the definition, but were calling themselves "Vegan Mayonnaise," which isn't actually a thing.

Many diners won't ask questions about the food they’re ordering for fear looking stupid and/or annoying.  Likewise, a good number of shoppers don't stop to read the backs of jars because they’re in a hurry. 

When you're ordering food, in a restaurant BE ANNOYING!  When you're shopping for groceries READ THE LABELS!  It’s the food you're going to eat.   Shows on Food Network are usually pretty reliable sources of information. When even they’re mislabeling one as the other, you have a right to know everything about your food before you put it in your mouth.

Hospital Food's Saving Grace

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I haven't posted in some time for the simple reason that I've been in the hospital. No, it wasn’t COVID-19 related, but the problem with my innards was nasty enough to knock me down for the count, requiring emergency surgery.

Hospital food isn't what you think it is. It's a hundred times worse than your worst culinary imaginings. I'm still having nightmares about their meatloaf and, so called, "mashed potatoes."

While I was initially tempted to chalk this house of epicurean horrors up to sadism, the reason for the bland flavors and funky textures is far more mundane.  A single kitchen has to produce the healthiest possible food (low salt, low fat, etc...) for hundreds of patients, each with their own dietary needs and restrictions.  Frankly, it's a miracle hospital kitchens do as well as they do.   Being aware of this fact didn't make the crispy chunks of mashed potatoes or the grey chicken based sausage any easier to eat though.

| Subject: Orange Sherbet |
| Date: 01/16/2021 | Photographers: Shelby Hester & James Kiester |
| Permissions: Photo taken for this blog |

Just as all hope seemed lost, I found a single purse among the proverbial pigs ears.  I am, of course, speaking of the sweet confection known as sherbet (or sometimes sherbert).  According to TheFreeDictionary.com, Sherbet is "a frozen dessert made mainly of fruit juice or fruit purée, usually with sugar and milk or cream."

As the cups of creamy sweet tart deliciousness were keeping me sane, I suspected the hospital served it for its non-dairy properties.  Turns out, I wasn’t entirely correct.  Like sorbet, sherbet is made of fruit juice and sugar.  What sets sherbet apart from its fruity cousin is the 1% to 2% inclusion of milk or cream in order to produce the creamy texture sherbet is known for.

Sherbet is perfectly balanced between juiciness & creaminess, and sweetness & tartness.  Yet, the confection is almost entirely associated with grade schools and/or hospitals.  I'd be willing to wager that most people reading this blog haven't even thought about sherbet since eating it with a little wooden spoon during a sixth grade field trip.   Once I was released from the hospital, I corrected the error of my ways by treating myself to a gallon of sherbet to keep in my freezer.   It's become my new favorite dessert.   

The Courage Of Penzey's

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Penzeys is a gourmet spice shop chain, headquartered in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  Founded in 1986, the spice retailer sells a wide selection of spices and proprietary seasoning blends from 70 stores in 29 states.

Subject: Brady Street Cheese Sprinkle 2 oz. jar | Source: Penzeys.com |

I personally love their Brady Street Cheese Sprinkle, which is a blend of Romano cheese salt, garlic, green peppercorn, basil and parsley. I sprinkle it on salads and batches of popcorn. The blend gives the snack a cheesy salty kick, with a hint of pepper and an herbaceous undertone. I’ve also added it to sour cream (1 TB. sprinkle to 1 cup sour cream) to make a savory dip for chips, pita bread, or crudités.

Being a fan of their shop, I subscribe to their online newsletter so I’m aware of sales and specials. During the recent 35 day government shutdown, I noticed chain owner, Bill Penzey, used the newsletter to call Trump to the mat and to offer free spices to furloughed government workers. I was impressed, but thought of it as an extraordinary gesture during a remarkably hard time, akin to chef Jose Andres' opening an emergency kitchen to feed furloughed government workers.

Apparently, I hadn’t been paying close attention to the newsletters. Bill Penzey seems to have a history of making political statements in his company’s newsletters. Just after Donald Trump was elected president, Penzey used the holiday newsletter to refer to Trump as a racist. “The open embrace of racism by the Republican Party in this election is now unleashing a wave of ugliness unseen in this country for decades,” Penzey wrote to his customers.

One, predictable in retrospect, result of his outspokenness was a backlash from conservative customers. Trump loyalists took to Twitter with the hash tag #boycottpenzeys.

So what do you do when a movement calls for a boycott of your stores? Obviously, if you're Bill Penzey, you find out who called for the boycott and have a boycott sale on his birthday. It’s the retail equivalent of showing your critics a center digit.

A time honored rule of thumb suggests that businesses should project an air of political neutrality so as not to alienate a portion of the consumer base. Penzey has bucked that trend in order to speak his truth. In Penzeys Boycott Sale Newsletter he writes, “We opened our stores to radiate the very Milwaukee idea of building a better future by caring about others.”

I, for one, applaud their stance on making morality a company priority. Sure, they're first and foremost a spice retailer. Yet, Bill Penzey has some deeply held beliefs and he's using a platform at his disposal to express those beliefs. That’s as it should be.

I blog about food here, but I maintain a political blog, a liberal Christian blog, and yes a science fiction blog as well, because I think about things outside the epicurean realm. Mr. Penzey is undoubtedly the same way, only with a larger platform to get his message across. Businesses with the courage of Penzeys should be rewarded with patronage rather than boycotted.

Risking My Palette With 2 New Finds

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Being a lover of food, I enjoy trying new and interesting foods.  While I'm not going to sample every canned soup or frozen meal to hit the market, I can get excited about trying a new kind of cheese, gourmet snack, beer, wine, or similar offering.

Winco is not what a person would classify as a "gourmet grocery store."  It's not the place one goes to for artisan cheeses or specialty meats.  It's the mundane supermarket people go to for good prices on every day items such as corn flakes and canned vegetables.  Nevertheless, I came across two items, during my latest grocery trip, which peeked my interest.

| Subject: Top - 6 oz BuzzBallz Chillers Display,
Bottom - 1.5 oz Epic Bar: Venison w/ Sea Salt & Pepper | Date: 09/12/2018 | Photographers: James Kiester & Dani Cogswell |

First I saw a display of small round brightly colored bottles.  The bottles contained 6 ounces of something called BuzzBallz Chillers.

The Chillers consisted of orange wine mixed with different kinds of juices (orange juice, peach juice, lemon juice, apple juice, coconut milk ). At $2.48 a pop, I was only going to get one to try.  Since, the base of the drink was orange wine, which I'd never heard of, I chose the Orange Wine w/ Orange Juice.

I poured the wine cocktail into a glass when I got home.  The beverage was an artificially bright orange color reminiscent of the space drink Tang.  The flavor was nowhere near as sweet though.

My mouth was initially assaulted by a strong bitterness on the front of my tongue followed by a harsh medicine taste throughout my mouth.  It seriously took several drinks of water to get the disgusting flavor out of my mouth.

I give BuzzBallz Chillers Orange Wine w/ Orange Juice 1 out of 10 stars.  These "Ballz" are a form of punishment rather than a treat.

When I was on the Popcorn and Snack isle I saw a meat snack I was unfamiliar with.  The 1.5 oz Epic Bar: Venison w/ Sea Salt & Pepper appeared to be a venison based meat snack.  I found myself excited as my head filled with childhood memories of my father cleaning the carcass of the deer he'd shot.  Reading the ingredient list (100% Grass Fed Venison, Lactic Acid, Sea Salt, Celery Powder, Cracked Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder) intrigued me even more. 

I was expecting a savory gamy snack with a decent meaty chew.  While the three inch bar delivered the pleasant flavor of salt and pepper, the texture was completely off-putting.   My teeth met no resistance when I bit into the morsel.  The bar was initially soft, like a brownie.  As I chewed, the bite instantly crumbled into a mouthful of sand-like bits.    The feel of the bite sent an uncomfortable chill through me from head to, and I couldn't finish the rest of the $2 bar. 

I give the Epic Bar: Venison w/ Sea Salt & Pepper 3 out of 10 Stars.

Granted, these particular experiments didn't bare fruit.  Nonetheless, I maintain that such experiments are worthwhile.  I mean, we can't know what we like until we have it for the first time.

The Bacon Jams' All Original Bacon Spread

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I like bacon. No... That's wrong...  I LOVE bacon!  I eat bacon almost every morning, I put it on most of my burgers, and I even have a blanket on my bed that looks like bacon.  A few months ago, I was watching Chopped and one of the contestants made bacon jam.  I'd never heard of bacon jam before, so I looked online and found an 8oz jar of The Bacon Jams' All Original Bacon Jam for $13.75 on Amazon.

Photo Courtesy of Amazon's Affiliate Program.

I confess I had certain expectations when I bought the jam. The reason I like bacon is for the smokey salty flavor that it delivers.  At breakfast bacon provides a crunchy texture in contrast to soft eggs and toast as well as the salty taste to offset sweet cereals, fruits, and jellies.  On a burger, it provides a savory balance against sweet ketchup and fresh lettuce and tomato.  I expected the jam to perform the same function.

I was disappointed.  I put the jam on a burger along with American cheese and mayonnaise.  The result was a very sweet burger.  The bacon jam was very maple forward with a very mild smokey undertone.  The bacon flavor was there, but it was almost like it was an after thought.  The bacon flavor was secondary to the flavor of maple syrup.

There are people who like maple bacon, and those people will probably love this jam. However if you're looking for a condiment that delivers a real bacon punch, this is not it.  Therefore, I give The Bacon Jams' All Original Bacon Jam 5 out of 10 stars.

On a curious final note, if you order the jam on Amazon it costs $1.25 less than if you order off their website directly.  Somehow adding Amazon as a middle man brought the price down instead of up.

The Vietnamese Mooncake Mystery

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For my birthday, my friend, Whitney, sent me a Vietnamese mooncake from Hawaii, along with three green tea bags. I knew, from her emails, it was a sweet cake with a salted hard boiled yolk of a duck's egg in the center, and it's to be eaten along side a cup of green tea.

| Subject: Vietnamese Moon Cake wrapped, whole, and cut in half | Date: 01/28/2018 |Photographers: Whitney Regan | These pictures were taken by a friend of the author of this blog. |

The cake came in a plastic tray wrapped in orange labeled cellophane, and was about the size of a cinnamon roll.  I wanted to know more about the pastry.

• What's it made of?
• Why is a cake, which looks like a flower, called a "mooncake?"
• Did I need to heat it up?  

The problem was, the label was written in vietnamese.  Thus, I had to play detective.

Being a computer geek, I began my investigation on good ol' Wikipedia.  I know, the site has a bit of a bad reputation among seekers of truth.  Yet, if a savvy sleuth pays attention to the cited sources, it can be a superb resource.

After a little digging, I found that each region of Asia offers its own version of the mooncake.  Vietnam offers two kinds of mooncake: "Bánh nướng" (baked mooncake) and "Bánh dẻo" (sticky rice mooncake).

I had the Bánh nướng consisting of wheat flour, cooking oil, and simple syrup boiled with malt. The deserts can apparently be filled with a variety of ingredients including; salted egg yolk, dried sausage, bean paste, sugared pig fat, lotus seeds, or watermelon seeds; before being brushed with egg wash and baked.

But, where'd they pickup their peculiar moniker?  Like I said, mine had been molded to mimic an open blossom.  I had some more digging to do.  My informant, Google, indicated that a certain popular periodical might offer a clue.

Time Magazine explained, the cakes are traditionally consumed during the Mid-Autumn festival, as describe in the Liji (Book of Rites).  The festival involves sacrifices being made to the moon on the 15th day of the 8th lunar month.  Since the celebration is based on the lunar cycle, the traditional cakes are known as mooncakes.

With most of the mystery solved, I still needed serving directions.  Luckily, Brandon Lau posted a tutorial on YouTube.  While Brandon's delivery was a bit more tongue-in-cheek than I'd hoped for, he did eat it straight from the wrapper with a fork.  So, I ate mine straight from the wrapper with a fork.

I had my fork, I had my cup of hot green tea, and I had a rip roaring game of Olympic Curling on TV.  I was ready.  Cutting into the cake, I found an INCREDIBLY dense pale yellow cake.  One bite told me the confection was as sweet as it was dense.  Even though I'd found no mention of honey as an ingredient, it tasted like rich honey to me.

After five or six bites, I reached the boiled "salted" duck yolk.  The yolk offered a welcome second texture and a delicate umami flavor, but with no hint of saltiness to speak of.

I don't feel I can rate this product, since I don't know a brand name.  I can say, if I come across one I'd eat it again.  Given the richness of the traditional delicacy however, I'll eat it with three or four other people.

Pampered Chef's Dijon Mustard Rub

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Before I begin, I have to reveal that, Pampered Chef purveyor, Lee Anne Krause is a friend who's kindly allowed me to promote my blog on her Facebook page for the last few years.

Pampered Chef is a global multi-level marketing company that offers a line of kitchen tools, food products, and cookbooks for preparing food in the home. They depend on local purveyors selling to friends or party guests, kind of like a culinary Avon.

Subject: Pampered Chef's Dijon Mustard Rub | Source: Courtesy of Pampered Chef with Lee Anne Krause  |

Since I bought a 1.9 ounce jar of Pampered Chef's Dijon Mustard Rub, for $5.25, from a friend, I told myself I'd break one of my rules, and only blog about it if it was good.  Well, I'm blogging about it.

Made from (Dijon Mustard Powder [Dijon Mustard ((Distilled Vinegar, Mustard, Salt, White Wine, Citric Acid, Tartaric Acid, Spices)), Maltodextrin, Modified Food Starch, Natural Flavor], Brown Mustard, Sugar, Black Pepper, Dehydrated Onion, Mustard Seed, Dehydrated Garlic, Vinegar Powder ((Maltodextrin, White Distilled Vinegar, Modified Food Starch)), Thyme, Rosemary, Less than 2% of Parsley, Sage, Bay, Oleoresin Turmeric, Oregano, Natural Flavor, and Silicon Dioxide to prevent caking) I'm not sure the label "rub" completely describes this product.

Conceivably this would be good rubbed into a pork loin or chicken before roasting.  However, the two times I've used it, so far, I've used it as a seasoning.

First, I sprinkled it into a mayonnaise based pasta salad (pasta shells, bell peppers, green onions, mayo, and salt).  Then today, I mixed two tablespoons of the seasoning/rub with a quarter cup of sour cream and a quarter cup of mayonnaise to make a dip for a soft pretzel.

I recommend using, at least, two table spoons of the seasoning to get the flavor to really come through.   Yet once I used enough, Pampered Chef's Dijon Mustard Rub provided a nice mustard flavor without delivering a harsh mustard bite.

All things considered, I give Pampered Chef's Dijon Mustard Rub 7 out of 10 stars.

M&M's Favorite Flavor Race

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During 2016's primary election season, three experimental varieties of M&M's chocolate peanut candies; Chili Nut, Honey Nut, and Coffee Nut; are vying for snackers' votes to determine America's favorite M&M's peanut candy.

Subject: Experimental M&M Flavors | Source: Courtesy of Mars Chocolate North America Press Kit |

Throughout the voting period of March 1 to June 17, snackers are encouraged to purchase each flavor and vote for their favorite on M&M's Facebook page. The winning flavor will be available in August and September of 2016.

I'd been looking for these candies for a few weeks, and had given up my search, when I found the single packs at Walgreen's (19975 SW Tualatin Valley Hwy, Aloha, OR) for $.60 per single size pack.  Being the curious eater that I am, I bought a pack of each and ate most of them in the car, while running errands.

Honey Nut:
Appearance - These come in the light orange, yellow, and black colors of a honey bee.
Taste - These tasted like chocolate peanut M&M's candies, with no hint of honey or additional sweetness.

Coffee Nut:
Appearance - These come in the colors of dark brown espresso, medium brown coffee, and off white cappuccino foam.
Taste - Here, the chocolate and peanut flavors are definitely dominant, but most of the pieces had a slight after taste of coffee.  I say "most," because I got one piece which delivered a power punch of coffee flavor throughout my mouth.

Chili Nut:
Appearance - These come in the colors bright red, orange, and maroon representing different kinds of peppers.
Taste - Again, the chocolate and peanut flavors were up front, but I tasted a gentle kick of heat on the back of my palette.  Yet, like with the coffee nut, I ate one power piece which could be considered hot.

I can't rate these from 1 to 10, since they're primarily Peanut M&M's Candies.  If you like Peanut M&M's Candies, and these happen to be at the cash register as you're paying for groceries, you may as well pick up a pack.  However, I wouldn't recommend actively seeking them out, they're nothing special.

There's Bacon In My Sausage Links

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Subject: Homestyle Bacon Sausage Links from Farmland Foods |
Date: 04/01/16 | Photographers: James Kiester & Dani Cogswell | This picture was taken by the author of this blog. |

I was at WinCo Foods in Beaverton, Oregon (3025 SW Cedar Hills Blvd.) when Homestyle Bacon Sausage Links from Farmland Foods caught my eye.  From its cozy spot, within the meat case, the package of 14 links practically screamed, "James, take me home!"

I didn't save the receipt, but I remember noticing the package was roughly the same price as the other pork sausages in the case.

Being a long time fan of both smoky bacon and savory breakfast sausage, I found myself excited and skeptical at the same time.  I knew that many products today are injected with salt and smoke extract, and labeled bacon flavored.  Yet, I figured that if the sausages proved to be the real deal, they'd be a meat treat.

While the links DO contain salt and smoke flavoring, the first two ingredients are pork & bacon (Pork, Bacon ((cured with Water, Salt, Sugar, Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite, Smoke Flavoring)). Less than 2% of the Following: Salt, Natural Flavorings, Dextrose, Water, Corn Syrup Solids, Vinegar, Potassium Lactate, BHA, Propyl Gallate, Citric Acid, Beef Collagen Casing).

Ingredients are one thing, but the true measure of the links is in the taste.  Two sausages were cooked according to the stove top instructions.

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS: Cook sausage until the internal temperature reaches 165 F. Microwave preparation is no recommended.

Stove Top: Cook thawed sausage links in skillet over medium-high heat 7 to 12 minutes, turning frequently to brown evenly.

Oven: Place thawed sausage links in shallow baking pan. Bake at 375 F for 10 to 15 minutes; turning links over after 5 minutes.

Right off the bat, I have to say they char a bit faster than other pork sausages I've tried, perhaps do to the additional fat from the bacon.  Even with the presence of a black crust over a third of the links, the flavors were there.  I could taste the savory pork sausage and the smoky bacon.  Plus, the smokiness didn't taste chemically artificial the way so many "bacon flavored" products can.

Even deducting for its sensitivity to charring, I still give Homestyle Bacon Sausage Links from Farmland Foods 8 out of 10 stars.

Frustrated By Commercials

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That thar TV tells me;

Chilis is featuring a 10 oz. Honey-Chipotle Shrimp & Sirloin - "100% USDA Choice sirloin with chile spices, topped with seared honey-chipotle glazed shrimp & chopped green onions on a bed of asparagus & garlic roasted tomatoes, with homestyle fries on the side,"

TGI Friday's offers Bourbon Barrel Mahi Mahi - "Perfectly seasoned with hickory-smoked sea salt fire-grilled over bourbon-soaked planks for a smoky vanilla sweetness that brings out the natural flavor in every bite. Served with two choice sides,"

Joe's Crab Shack is promoting Charbroiled Oysters - "Broiled Parmesan & garlic butter,"

Doritos is experimenting with Poppin' Jalapeno tortilla chips,

Photo Courtesy of Amazon's Affiliate Program.

and Lay's is test marketing a Smoked Gouda & Chive potato chip.

What irks me is the fact that I can't taste any of these offerings.  I live in Beaverton, Oregon, and the  closest of the three listed restaurants is Joe's Crab Shack in VANCOUVER, WASHINGTON, 21.8 MILES AWAY!  The other two restaurants, as near as I can tell, have left Oregon & Washington completely.  Yet, I'm constantly subjected to commercials tempting me to visit these places.

Likewise, when I watch my stories, I see multiple ads for both kinds of chips.  Being a fan of smoked Gouda and jalapenos, I wanted to try these snacks.  After searching for the flavors on my own, with no success, I visited Frito Lay's snack finder for a list of stores, in my area, which were selling the chips.  None of the stores on the map carried either variety.

With today's technology, targeting specific markets with specific advertisements is no real trick.  So, why are companies buying commercial time in my area to market products which aren't available here?  It makes no sense.  I might as well be seeing commercials for the Montgomery Flea Market, in Alabama, during prime time TV.

Water Water Everywhere

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I was at Fred Meyer, an Oregon grocery store owned by Kroger, when I passed a shelf displaying multiple types of bottled water.  While the selection of over a dozen brands of bottled water floored me, I had NO idea that the Natural Resources Defense Council actually counts the number of brands selling bottled water in the United States to be more than 700.

Subject: Bottled Water | Date: 08/05/15 |
Photographers: James Kiester & Dani Cogswell | This picture was taken by the author of this blog. |

I find it interesting that there are so many versions of the exact same product.  Understand, this is water in bottles, with different labels.

Companies DO try to put their own spin on the product.  One company states their bottled water is, "made by nature, not by man."  All water is made by nature.

Another purveyor of packaged H2O puts on their bottles, and I'm not making this up, their "pure pristine water is imported from Earth."  Forget the implication that other bottled water is from extraterrestrial sources.  Linguistically, you can't "import" a product from a place where you are.  If a product is from a place where you are, we call that a domestic product.

The fact that 700 companies sell enough bottled water to make the enterprise economically viable means consumers are buying this stuff like potato chips.  It's been said that Americans spend $6 billion a year on bottled water because it's safer than tap water.  Ah, but this is not so Number One Son.

According to Food & Water Watch, common tap water is tested more frequently than bottled water.  The drinking water, from our faucets, is continuously monitored and treated according to federal standards. If local tap water is unsafe then water companies are obligated, under federal law, to notify the public, and correct the problem.

Admittedly, if you're putting together an Earthquake emergency kit, or a roadside emergency kit, the inclusion of bottled water makes sense.  It might also make sense in some sports/training situations.  Even in these cases though, price should be the only factor determining which brand a person buys.
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Soul Hot Sauce

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Subject: Soul Hot Sauce | Date: 09/26/15 |
Photographers: James Kiester & Dani Cogswell | This picture was taken by the author of this blog. |

I was at Beaverton's New Seasons Market when I spotted Ryan Brown, owner of Soul Hot Sauce, giving out samples of his company's Red Sauce and Green Sauce sprinkled atop of tortilla chips.  Being hungry, I stopped for a nosh.  Both Soul Hot Sauces are made in small batches in Portland, Oregon, and are advertised as being all natural, organic, gluten free, and vegan.

Soul's Green Hot Sauce, comprised of; water, whole tomatillos, white wine vinegar, yellow onion, pineapple juice, jalapeño powder, raisins, tamari (a smoky version of soy sauce), dried banana, mustard, garlic, turmeric, himalayan salt, and xanthan gum; was the spicier of the two varieties, even though Ryan claims the opposite to be true.  The sauce balances a bright citrusy tang with a pleasant kick of heat.

Subject: Soul Hot Sauce | Date: 09/26/15 |
Photographers: James Kiester & Dani Cogswell | This picture was taken by the author of this blog. |

The smokier Red Sauce, made from; water, white wine vinegar, carrot juice, yellow onion, tamari (a smoky version of soy sauce), raisins, dried hot chiles, garlic, tomato paste, dried banana, mustard, red bell pepper powder, turmeric, dutch cocoa, himalayan salt, and xanthan gum; boasts flavors of habanero, dried banana, and Dutch Cocoa.  Notes of cocoa and habanero were definitely present, delivering a rich spicy, but not overly hot, bite.

While I liked both sauces, I found the presence of white wine vinegar to be much more pronounced in the Red Sauce.  Thus, I left with an 8.5 ounce bottle of Green Sauce, which I'm eating on a taco as I write this.

I give Soul's Red Sauce 7 out of 10 stars and Soul's Green Sauce 9 out of 10 stars.
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Whole Foods Charges High Prices..... Well No Sheep Dip Batman!

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Subject: The interior of the largest Whole Foods in the United States, located on Houston Street in the East Village of New York City. | Date: 08/25/2008 | Photographer: David Shankbone |This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

According to a recent article in USA TODAY, a current investigation, by New York City's Department of Consumer Affairs, has concluded that Whole Foods stores have been overcharging for pre-packaged foods.

Did they really need to investigate to figure this out?  Seriously?  Next they'll look into the allegation that the Santa at the mall MIGHT be an imposter.

There are some things that people, who are paying attention, just know.  When Whole Foods hocks $9.00 chocolate bars, which are roughly the size of a $2.00 Hershey's Chocolate Bar from Walmart, it's pretty obvious Whole Foods isn't a destination for bargain shoppers.

That being said, it's not supposed to be.  Chains such as Whole Food, and the northwest's local version, New Seasons, aren't designed to be places for average shoppers to buy everyday groceries.  Unless someone has a special dietary need (gluten free food, low nitrite food, etc...) buying commonplace groceries, such as boxed cereal & canned soup, at Whole Foods makes no sense.

Food lovers go to such stores for a special high end meats, cheeses, and/or other treats not typically found at an average supermarket.  I go there for specialty cheeses, such as Taleggio, Comte, Huntsman, and Woolwich Dairy's Triple Creme Goat Brie.  My brother goes there for the meat counter's jumbo sized hot dogs when he's hosting a BBQ.  Other people go there for their grass fed ground beef, which is free of pink slime.

Yes, Whole Foods charges more for their groceries.  People know this going in though.  No ones being scammed or duped.
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Why I Can't Review Fairlife Milk

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Subject: Fairlife Milk | Source: Coca Cola Company's Press Release |

I was drinking a glass of milk yesterday, when I stopped, peered longingly into the glass, and thought, "Man, I wish milk was better for me."  OK, that never happened.  1 8oz cup of mainstream whole cows' milk has 11.03 grams of carbohydrate, 7.9 grams of protein, 276 mg of calcium, and 349 mg of potassium.  See a complete nutritional breakdown here.

Nevertheless, Coca-Cola has launched a new “premium” line of healthier milks, called Fairlife. To make their milk healthier, Coca-Cola separates the milk into five components; water, vitamins & minerals, lactose, protein, and fat; then remixes it into "a rebuilt lactose-free milk," which contains half the sugar and double the protein of the normal product.

I can't review it, because I'm never going to try it.  I'm a full fledged member of middle income America, and in my neck of the woods Fairlife milk is prohibitively expensive. Coming in whole white, fat free white, 2% white, and 2% chocolate, Fairlife milk’s national average price is $4.29 for a 52 oz. bottle. Since there are 128 oz in a gallon, Fairlife milk costs to $10.51 per gallon.

The average price of conventional milk, is $3.50 per gallon (according to Bureau of Labor Statistics).  Lactose intolerant shoppers can find Lactaid (the leading brand of lactose free milk) for $3.38 per half gallon ($6.76 per gallon) at Walmart.

It's not only the high price that keeps me from reviewing this product.  At best, I'd be able to verify Fairlife's claim that their milk tastes like milk, essentially saying nothing.  Besides, I'm not sure how much a lab can do to milk and still call it milk.

Unless someone is severely protein deficient, I see no reason to spend $10.51 per gallon on this milk.


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Fuller Foods' Blue Cheese Jalapeño & Maple Bacon Cheesy Puffs

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Subject: Fuller Foods' Blue Cheese Jalapeño & Maple Bacon Cheesy Puffs |
Date: 01/02/2015 | Photographers: James Kiester & Dani Cogswell | This picture was taken by the author of this blog.

I don't typically review chips, crackers, and other snack foods. I leave critiques of such munchies to the good people of Taquitos Snack Food Reviews. However, while the site has reviewed, literally, thousands of sweet and/or salty munchables, from every conceivable national brand, they rarely review offerings from mom & pop companies. Thus, when the owner of an, Oregon based, craft snack company was promoting his fare at my local New Seasons Market, I ended up taking a few bags home to sample & review.

Fuller Foods, head quartered in Portland, Oregon, makes four varieties of "100% natural" Cheesy Puffs, including; Sriracha, Blue Cheese Jalapeño, India Pale Ale, and Maple Bacon.  As a beer drinker, I've never been able to choke down an IPA, and something in the owner's demeanor told me the Sriracha flavor would be way too hot for this 44 year old.  Being a fan of blue cheese and bacon, I left with the Blue Cheese Jalapeño and Maple Bacon flavors.

According to the brown paper packaging, the Blue Cheese Jalapeño Puffs contain; corn (non-GMO Bob's Red Mill corn grits from Oregon and California), blue and cheddar cheese blend, konjac, jalapeño, salt, and garlic; while the Maple Bacon Puffs are made of; corn (non-GMO Bob's Red Mill corn grits from Oregon and California), safflower oil, cheddar cheese, maple sugar, konjac, salt, and Olympic Provisions Bacon (pork, salt, brown sugar, nitrates, applewood smoke).  Additionally, both flavors boast:

• FEATURES KONJAC YAM (consumption of 6oz of water per serving is recommended)
• INCREASES SATIETY
• BLUNTS SUGAR ABSORPTION
• LOCALLY MADE
• NO “NATURAL FLAVORS”
• NOT MADE WITH GENETICALLY ENGINEERED INGREDIENTS

Being slightly confused by their second to last claim, I contacted them via their Facebook Page and asked, "Your bag says, "No 'Natural Flavors.'"  Don't I want natural flavors?"

An online representative, named Jack, wrote back with the following statement.

"James,

Many natural and organic foods are flavored with additives such as "natural flavors", which is a vaguely defined and loosely regulated term that includes lots of very unnatural constituents, ranging from chemicals from non-food origins to ingredients over-processed beyond recognition. Take bacon, for example. In all commercially made snacks, bacon flavor is derived from "natural flavors" (chemical compounds that yield similar aromatic/taste properties), yeast, and/or MSG. Our bacon flavor is made from actual bacon (non-GMO, nitrate free) that was meticulously prepared, dehydrated, and powderized. 

Significant amount of work went into making Serious Cheesy Puffs a snack made from wholesome ingredients only. It is an achievement that extremely few food companies, particularly in snacks, attain and something that I'm very proud of.

Having said that, I do thank you for bringing to my attention of how "No 'natural flavors'" may be confusing to some. Such verbiage will be updated in future packaging designs.

Thank you, Jack"

Natural ingredients are nice, for eaters who care about what the put into their bodies, but the real question is, do these puffs make a tasty snack?

Both varieties of puff looked identical; pale white in color, about 50% the width of a Cheetos Cheese Puff, and about 50% longer than a Cheetos Cheese Puff.  Trading width for length, these puffs give the snacker roughly the same volume of food as their popular counterpart.  Each puff also delivered a solid crunch.

Biting into the Blue Cheese Jalapeño Puffs gave me a spicy, but not overly hot, kick of jalapeño right off the bat.  Chewing increased the level of heat, and eventually revealed a faint under flavor of blue cheese.  Likewise, the Maple Bacon Puffs delivered a strong hit of maple sweetness with a whisper of bacon flavor in the background.

While I'd have preferred a stronger blue cheese taste, the spice of the pepper was tasty enough for me to give the Blue Cheese Jalapeño Puffs 8.5 out of 10 stars.  On the flip side, the Maple Bacon Puffs were really a maple snack with bacon as an after thought.  After eating a few puffs, the sweetness became overpowering, earning these puffs 6.9 out of 10 stars.
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Famous Dave's BBQ

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Dave Anderson, an Ojibwa who served as the head of the federal Bureau of Indian Affairs, started the first Famous Dave's restaurant near Hayward, Wisconsin in 1994. Today, the fast casual chain, of more than 200 locations, serves a variety of barbecued meats, sauces, sides, and, yes, beers.

The statement, "You can darn near bet we'll be open at 11 ('lessen the cook don't show)," greets patrons as they enter the mock hillbilly setting, complete with steel tubs for lamp shades, walls of exposed wood, beer brand themed mirrors and signs featuring backwoods style slang, in addition to the aforementioned statement of hours.

Subject: Hot link & deep fried pickles at Famous Dave's BBQ | Date: 06/12/2014 | Photographers: James Kiester This picture was taken by the author of this blog.

I recently visited Famous Dave's Beaverton, Oregon location, on Cedar Hills Blvd., for a lunch consisting of a 1/3 lbs. Hot Link Sausage, a regular order (as opposed to a  large order) of Deep Fried Pickles with Ranch Dressing for dipping, and a Pepsi.  Technically, the pickles are listed as an appetizer, but they make a nice chip-like side.

In the BBQ world, there exists some debate as to the definition of a "Hot Link Sausage."  There are Pittsburgh Hot Links, Texas Hot Links, Louisiana Hot Links, and Chicago style Hot Links.  Some eaters insist a Hot Link is fresh uncured sausage, while others define them as spicy Italian sausages containing fennel.  Other definitions involve the presence of, or lack of, specific curing agents and spices.

What I had could be best described as a smoked spicy Kielbasa covered with a peppery sweet BBQ sauce.  The sausage was about six inches long with five evenly space cuts which allowed the sauce into the interior of the meat.  The cuts also revealed an array of visible spices which gave the meat a zesty flavor,  The coating of sauce added an additional layer of  tangy spiciness without making the dish overwhelmingly hot.

The fried pickles, made from slices of dill pickles, were crunchy with a pleasant saltiness complementing the tartness of the dill based pickling.  The ranch dip tasted like a typical store bought salad dressing, but added a tangy coolness to the pickle.  Most impressive was the generosity of the serving size, a "regular order" being more than two hungry people could polish off.

My meal cost about $8 and was quite tasty.  Of course, for a restaurant that works hard to mimic a down home BBQ experience, I would've expected complimentary white bread or soda crackers to be served alongside each order of barbecued protein.  Still, Famous Dave's BBQ delivered an enjoyable eating experience, allowing me to award the eatery 8.6 out of 10 stars.
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Photo courtesy of Amazon's Affiliate Program.

Interesting Side Note:

Across the street from Famous Dave's sits Winco Grocery, where I buy my everyday food items.  As I browsed the shelves, I came across Famous Dave's Spicy Pickle Spears.  I bought some, figuring the jar held a jazzed up version of the dill pickles they fry in the restaurant.  I was wrong.

When I bit into a spear I found a crisp sweet pickle with a kick of heat.  The heat complements, rather than overpowers, the sweetness, making the pickle a flavor balanced snack.

They're delicious pickles, but have nothing to do with Famous Dave's restaurant fare.
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Side Note 2:
Since this review was posted this location has sadly closed for business.
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Fonzy Melon - Micro Blog

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Title: Fonzy Melon | Date: 05/27/2014 | Photographers: James Kiester & Dani Cogswell |
This picture was taken by the author of this blog.

Yesterday, the produce section at New Seasons (a North West version of Whole Foods) was featuring something called a Fonzy Melon labeled with a tongue-in-cheek sign reading, "Approved by Henry Winkler."  Partly for reasons of nostalgia, yes I had a Happy Days lunch box, I added a melon to my cart.

When I got home, I tried to research the origin and history of my find online.  I found some growing instructions, and a few brief tasting notes from fellow food bloggers, but nothing to indicate which fruits were spliced to create the melon, or how it got its name.

Nevertheless, I cut open the round pumpkin-orange Fonzy Melon, which is about the size of a Honeydew, for breakfast  this morning.  Inside was a juicy white semi-firm fruit flesh surround a core of seeds.  The flavor tasted like a cross between a Bartlet Pear and a Muskmelon (Cantaloupe), which may, or may not, be a clue to its breeding.

In any case, the Fonzy Melon offers a distinctive flavor, and can be used as one would use any small melon.
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Asiago Cheese with Rosemary and Olive Oil - Micro Blog

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Being a cheese lover, I was jonesing for something I hadn't had before when I came across a wedge of Asiago Cheese with Rosemary and Olive Oil.  I ate it alongside smoked oysters and a lager.

Plymoth, Wisconsin's version of Asiago is produced with skimmed cow's milk and is infused with rosemary and olive oil, creating a pale yellow cheese with a rosemary/olive oil soaked rind and a semi-hard, slightly crumbly, texture.  The cheese's combination of rosemary and oil, and slow maturation process, gives it a slightly herbaceous sharp flavor.

Asiago Cheese with Rosemary and Olive Oil is excellent in small doses alongside other bold tasting foods (smoked meats, garlicky dishes, full bodied beers, etc...).  However, it can be overpowering if consumed in large quantities, or when eaten against mild flavors.  All things considered, I give Asiago Cheese with Rosemary and Olive Oil 7 out of 10 stars.
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Picture courtesy of Amazon.com.

Taleggio - Micro Blog

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I was at Whole Foods on Sunday looking for some Triple Creme Brie.  The Brie wasn't in its typical spot.  I found another soft cheese, decided to try it instead, and bought just over 5 ounces for $7.95.

Taleggio  is, possibly, one of the oldest Italian produced soft cheeses. Its name has been found in the caverns of the Alpine Valley dating back before the tenth century.

Named for the Alpine Valley (the Val Taleggio) in the Lombardy region of Italy, where it's produced, this cows' milk cheese is only made during fall and winter months.  Unlike most cheeses, Taleggio is both smear-ripened (bacteria, often the bacteria called "Brevibacterium linens", is smeared onto the rind of the cheese to strengthen the cheese's flavor during aging) and rind-washed (the cheese is washed during aging, usually with a saltwater brine, but more flavorful liquids such as beer, brandy, or wine can be used).  Taleggio undergoes this duel process anywhere from six to ten weeks to give the cheese ample time to reach maturity and optimum flavor.

The result is a soft Italian cheese with a buttery nutty salty flavor and creamy smooth texture.  I ate a healthy portion of it that night along with a green summer salad of spinach & Granny Smith Apples, and a loaf of fresh bakery bread.  When served at room temperature, Taleggio spread across my bread as easily as butter, providing a rich fatty contrast to the crisp green salad.

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Taleggio Cheese (Italy), image by Dominik Hundhammer 2004, {{GFDL}}  This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.
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Woolwich Dairy's Triple Creme Goat Brie - Micro Blog

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I love Goat Cheese. I love, love, love Triple Creme Brie. Thus, when I came across Triple Creme Goat Brie, from Woolwich Dairy, at New Seasons Market I had to snatch up a helping of the delicacy.

The seller explained to me, that Woolwich Dairy pumps butter fat into their Triple Creme Goat Brie to give it that rich Triple Creme texture, which eaters expect. Served at room temperature, this cheese is butter soft a spreadable. The goats' milk gives the product a slightly stronger and tangier flavor than typical Brie, without being overpowering.

I paid $9.00 for the 6.5oz (180g) wheel of Triple Creme Goat Brie, which may be considered, by some, to be slightly on the spendy side. However, as I enjoyed it on flatbread, alongside a salad and a good glass of wine, I found it to be worth the price.

I give Triple Creme Goat Brie 9 out of 10 stars.
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